Today we get to listen to Neha Sonney a public speaker, coach, trainer specialised in relationship & intimacy coaching. She is born and raised in India and Bahrain, living for years in Hong Kong. According to her the safest city on the planet. She has experienced trauma and suffering as a child and young mother, until she realised that she needs to change something. Those dark places have formed her and made her to the person she is now. She is a relationship coach and mentor, a public speaker that shares her story from deep inside her body and recently also a podcast host to help others to find their path and heal their trauma and wounds.
I learned how to express myself.
Neha has shown me how anyone can heal, no matter how bad the situation or experiences are. I learned that traumas from our childhood or even our ancestors get stuck in our body if we don’t let them go; and how we can release them with body work. Learning to calm your mind, how to be in your body and find your authentic you, so you can express yourself fully and authentically.
I learned how tantra can help to release such traumas in the body and how meditation can help us to find back to our inner self. How we belief that we should know how to do those things because we are adults but need to accept that like with anything else, meditation needs to be learned from scratch and it takes time to get there.
I further learned from Neha how one can find ones path, voice and passion by sharing openly and vulnerable ones story to others. When finally understanding ones story and sharing it, how this can free up other traumas, limiting beliefs and bring us closer to oneself.
The most important lesson I learned is; you need to first learn to love yourself fully. Create a great relationship with yourself before you can start helping others. Only with your cup full are you able to fully help, otherwise you are helping for a place of lacking.
3 Words describing her: Growth, Confidence, Loving & Listening
She was completely lost but now she is happy knowing herself, where she is now. She used to be unconscious and not knowing herself. Growing up with a verbal abusive mother made her unsure about herself. Then in the arranged marriage she didn’t know who she is either. When Neha realised that she is a bad mother to her son she started meditating in 2012 and things started to improve. She became a better and more understanding mother, and person, started a speaking career and after letting go off her fear and sharing her story with authenticity not hiding anything things got even better.
Colour: Teal, turquoise are fascinating her. Those colours are abundant in nature and symbolise healing for her. Nature by itself is a good healer, whenever we are in nature we heal. And not to forget, Teal looks good with Neha’s skin tone.
Fun fact: She loves Yorki’s, Yorkshire Terrier; They attack with love. She can do a headstand.
We talked about:
- Her relation with her mom, verbally abusive and narcism
- Her arranged marriage
- Shattered spirit, doubting herself all the time
- Yoga, love inversion and how it helps with confidence and reverses ageing
- Trauma that stays in the body. No talk therapy can help releasing that
- Trauma disconnects the person from their body. We don’t know how to handle it like animals do
- How tantra helped her release her trauma
- Tantric orgasm, out of body experience and the healing through it
- Gaining clarity on what she wanted in relationships. Emotional safety and finding back to herself
- First you need to love yourself, create a great relationship with yourself
- You can only help others when your cup is full
- Leaving her first marriage, grieving, healing and finding herself, her passion and creating new relationships at work and with friends
- Toastmasters and speaking in front of people
- Public speaking in front of 80 people, opening up and revealing some of her deepest hurts and traumas
- Public speaking helped her to find her story, herself and be more confident
- Her biggest transformation happened when she got her story out. Realising that she lives in the safest city in the world and there is no danger.
- Bodylanguage
- When the voice resonates from somewhere deep inside you
- Meditation & Storytelling
- Her story, intuition. How meditation helped her to hear her inner voice and reconnect with her body
- She started with guided meditation DavidDji
- Meditating under a Pyramid structure and how powerful such a structure is
- Reconnecting her actions with her body. Dancing = Passion for music. Traveling = Searching for beauty in nature and the world. Using hands to create things or journaling = Storytelling
- Her experience in the dessert in the middle of the night
- Breaking patterns
- Practicing all she learned
- Ancestor healing. Pain in her body the doctors couldn’t figure out. She wanted to know how to heal it. The pain that was passed on from her mothers line
- If a person is not aware of their trauma and pain they’ll pass it on to their children
- Unvoiced wishes and dreams
- Spiritual healing with 2 mantras. Lord Ganesha and Kali.
Meditation:
Why should we meditate?
- In the beginning it helps one to clam down.
- By time meditation helps understand and reduce the negative emotions. The more you do the more positive you become as a human being.
How do you become more positive?
- You realise that you are in a victim state, you witness yourself during the meditation.
- You start to separate your emotions and reactions to a situation. You start to see and observe the situation and now you are able to change. React different than before.
How to meditate?
- It takes about 20min before you get in a meditative state.
- Feel the breath, your skin, feel how your body touches the ground, the cloth, the chair. How is the temperature of the room, your breath and gradually you start to look more into yourself.
- You can also do a body scan to help you to meditate and it is a good tool to sleep better.
Other ways to become Conscious:
- Neha uses storytelling and journaling her story to get more in touch with herself
- She uses her passion for music to dance, her passion to find beauty in nature and on the planet to travel
- When using at least 3 senses you start to become conscious. The more senses you use the more conscious you become.
Biggest meditation mistake?
- To have an attachment and expectation to the outcome. Like it is with sex where too many think of the orgasm, and then you are already there instead of enjoying the act. You need to learn to let go from any expectations and outcome.
- Grown ups think they should know all and when we then start with meditation for the first time, we have to accept that we are babies and have to learn it from scratch. We have not learned it so we need to take the time it takes to learn it to do it right.
- The best time is in the morning after waking up and before going to sleep as our brain waves are in the right state.
Advices and Call to Action:
- Meditate, Start with guided meditation if you are new
- Do the two mantras for ancestral clearing Om Gan Ganapataye Namah & Om Kreem Maha Kali Sarva Rogam Nasi Nasi
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- 21Day, 108 receptions for each mantra
- Yoga Inversion. Head- handstand or legs up on the wall. Help to reduce stress and cure insomnia and helps to stay young
Links:
LinkedIN: Neha Sonney
www.nehasonney.com
Instagram @theselflovexpert
Her Podcast, “Relationship Academy”
www.anchor.fm/therelationshipacademy
People we talked about:
DavidDji Guided Meditation
Sadguruh Spirituality
Osho Teachings and books on mysticism and spirituality
Pablo Coelho: His stories of magic, love & possibilities
Susan Cain (How Pursuing a Quest Can Bring Purpose to Your Life)
Books:
Susan Cain - “Quiet Power - Growing up as an introvert in a world that can’t stop talking”
Deepak Chopra - “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”
More Interviews with Neha:
www.the-inspired.com/post/interview-with-neha-sonney-relationship-coach-love-yourself-first-great-things-will-follow
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxqY_Ej1Tm8&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR1RXMaquYT6zZRh1mJNzv2dZxJ_eHcrGuUxXrCzK0qH9u-mBbokJ489MlA
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